Family Archives

December 24, 2023

Poinsettias on the Graves

When Wife Lila came to Cape recently, she tried to convince me to replace the refrigerator when I remodel my kitchen. She’s a big fan of bottom freezers, and I prefer mine to be at eye level. (Her eyes aren’t that far off the ground, so that’s why she likes the bottom freezer.)

When we went to Lowes to look at ice boxes (using that phrase is a good sign that I’m old), we passed an aisle loaded down with Christmas flowers and cacti. The poinsettias were two for three bucks, so we picked up a couple of them and some cacti for friends and relatives.

Mother had always asked, “Who will decorate the graves after I’m gone?” That sent me back to Lowes to pick up some more flowers.

Sunset more colorful than flowers

After dropping off a pot at my Mother and Dad’s stone, I stopped by Lila’s mother, Lucille Perry. The flowers were colorful, but they couldn’t compare with the sunset in the distance. I wish the camera had captured all the colors my eyes saw.

Roy and Elsie in Advance

Mother’s dad and mother had health problems and lived with us from my early grade school days until after I had left for Ohio University. My life was much enriched by getting to know them.

Here’s a little more about Elsie Welch, as described by her friends.

My great-grandparents

Mother’s grandparents, W.M. Adkins and Mary Adkins died long before I was born, but I still have no trouble spotting their grave in the beautiful Pleasant Hill Cemetery in Tillman, near Advance.

A lot of my grandmother’s friends and relatives are scattered in that cemetery.

I wondered if they got stolen

After I had placed the flowers, I wondered if anyone would spot them and carry them off since they were so portable.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I said to myself, “I don’t care if someone does. I fulfilled my obligation to Mother, and if her flowers brighten another grave, that’s a good thing.”

October 17, 2023October 17, 2023

A Letter to Mother

Birthday Season Exemption

I’m getting a fileserver upgrade, so my computer will be dark for a few days, which would be a problem because Mother’s birthday will fall within that period. Fortunately, I can post this under the Birthday Season Exemption.

My family, for better or worse, is made up of packrats who saved stuff that would be considered inconsequential to most folks. While going through an envelope of greeting, birthday, sympathy and get-well cards, I ran across this snippet of a letter I had written to Mother from Ohio University, probably in 1967.

I’m glad she saved it (and that I found it)

I don’t know what triggered me to write it, but I’m glad I did. I didn’t do that enough to people who are important to me.

Maybe I was trying to recover for letting Mother’s Day slip past me the first year at OU. Trust me, that never happened again.

July 1, 2023July 2, 2023

Flickers and Mother’s Flashlight

I went to bed uncharacteristically early Friday night, which caused me to wake up around 5:15 a.m. I went into the kitchen for something to drink and decided to watch a little TV.

I hadn’t been there long when the kitchen went dark. That can happen if I try to use two high-wattage appliances at the same time, but nothing big was running.

The blackout was followed by a few encouraging flashes, then total darkness. The whole block was dark. The radar was clear and it wasn’t storming. (It reminded me of the blackout during Y2K.) Scanner traffic said that power was out around the Mt. Auburn neighborhoods, too.

I have little dollar flashlights hanging strategically in every room in the house, so I had enough light to wander back to the bedroom where I grabbed Mother’s old faithful bedside flashlight.

I bought it for her 25 or more years ago, and she always kept it next to her bed. She loved it because of its bright yellow color, but also because the shape made it easy to grab and to carry. It had an easily pushed button that would project a beam straight ahead, or at your feet.

We debated burying it with her, but figured she’d be mad that we wasted such a useful gizmo. I inherited it with the house.

Held off on the generator

I bought a Champion tri-fuel generator last year, but didn’t get around to extending the natural gas line and electrical hookup until AFTER I lost power for 16 hours and 38 minutes in the winter.

I gave some thought to hooking it up, but the house was cool enough for sleeping, and I decided it would be easier to do it after it was light, if the power hadn’t been restored by then.

As it turned out, that was a good decision because things started coming back to life at 6:06 a.m..

So, the generator is patiently waiting. Its battery is trickle-charged, and it’s wearing its GenTent cover ready to spring into action.

Ready in Florida

I bought a little 3000-watt generator after Hurricane Hugo, and didn’t use it until a series of storms rolled over Florida ten years later, starting in 2004.

I gifted the small unit to Son Matt, and bought a larger one that I adapted to run off propane and natural gas. It sleeps in our backyard shed, along with hurricane panels, tarps, sleeping bags and other storm supplies.

Generator’s only good if you can keep it

There’s a story that may or may not be apocryphal about a guy who parked his generator right outside his bedroom window so he could make sure it was still there.

In the middle of the night, he could hear it humming away, but his room was getting hot. He went out to find a thief had substituted a running lawnmower for his generator.

There are some stories that should be true, even if they aren’t.

Here’s how we secure the Florida power supply. A thief could still make off with it, but he’d have to have the right tools and a degree of determination.

(If he leaves a lawnmower, I hope it’s one of equal value.)

THIS was a surprise

The region was under a severe thunderstorm warning a big chuck of the July 1 afternoon. It blew through fast with some gusty winds and rumbles of thunder, but only about .03 inches of much-needed rain.

I heard scanner reports of trees down and power outages, but I thought we had escaped any excitement on Kingsway.

I went out to pick up a limb that had fallen off a maple tree several days ago, and was surprised to see this splintered walnut tree. It’s leaning against another tree, and isn’t in a place where it would damage anything except a concrete birdbath.

I’ll let God and gravity take care of it.

May 14, 2023

Mother at SEMO 1939 & 1940

A reader was kind enough to drop off a box of old Sagamores a few months ago. I offered to fill in gaps in the collection at the Cape County History Center, but I held back two that had surprising photos in them.

The 1939 issue had photos of Mother as a freshman. It identified her as being from Advance, and being in the Home Economics Club and the YWCA.

Book belonged to Milburn Lavelle Bess

A note in the front of the 1939 book said it belonged to Milburn Lavelle Bess of Cape Girardeau, who was a member of the Band, Orchestra, Pi Mu Omicron and A Cappella.

A number of the pages were autographed by friends who referred to him as Lavelle, instead of Milburn.

I’d be willing to pass the book on the Lavelle or any of his family members.

Albert and Leming Halls

Two of the dorms for women appeared on facing pages. I wasn’t sure if Mother was in either of them.

Mother may have been mistaken

She had two photos in a scrapbook that she labeled as being of Albert Hall, but the yearbook pictures show that Leming is the building with a screened porch.

Even as I consider saying that she was wrong, I’m looking at the sky expecting a bolt of lightning to come down.

She was a sophomore in 1940

She’s still listed as being from Advance, and of being in the Home Economics Club and the YWCA.

Secretary of Home Economics Club

I can’t be sure she’s in the group photo, but the text copy notes that she was secretary of the club.

War Department took notice

Maybe her election to the office of secretary was what caused the War Department to send her this telegram.

When Mother would tell the story, she always said, “I’d rather be married than type.”

Dad and Mother were in a movie theater when the word about the attack on Pearl Harbor broke. When they came out, my grandfather said, “If you kids are going to get married, you’d better do it right away.”

And, they did, exactly one month later, on January 7, 1942.

1940 Aerial photo of SEMO

The front of the 1940 yearbook had a double truck (printing-speak for a two-page layout made up as a single unit) aerial of the area around the college.

It’s amazing how many neighborhood homes have been gobbled up over the intervening years.

Free hospital care

There were interesting little nuggets scattered all though the books. The Medical Staff faculty page showed Dr. O.L. Seabaugh as college physician, and Rose Margaret Dewever, RN, as college nurse.

It said that “beginning with a complete physical examination upon entering school, students are offered competent medical attention through the services of a qualified physician and registered nurse.

“One week’s hospitalization in either of Cape Girardeau’s hospitals and the use of the x-ray are included in advantages offered by the Health Department free to the students on a co-operative basis.”