What Are You Doing Saturday?

canoe1I hardly ever answer the phone at home because the call is never for me. If Wife Lila IS away, when I DO answer it, it’s usually “Jennifer” who wants to talk to me about my credit card, “but there’s no problem with it.” If it’s not Jennifer, its a voice that wants to warn me that the FBI reports there is a break-in every X minutes. THAT’S why I don’t answer the phone.

So, Wife Lila picks up the phone Friday afternoon, then says, “It’s for you.”

Son Adam is on the horn: “What are you doing Saturday morning.”

I have to perform brain surgery

Flummoxed, I couldn’t come up with something like, “I have to perform brain surgery first thing in the morning” or “It’s my weekend to go door-to-door distributing rutabagas.”

“It doesn’t matter, you’re retired. You’re not doing anything. How would you like to go on a canoe ride”

John Prine has a line in his song, Far From Me, , “Well, a question ain’t really a question, if you know the answer too.” It’s right up there with “How would you like to take out the garbage?”

My job: steer around stumps and gators

I guess I’m going on a canoe ride down the Loxahatchee River Saturday morning. Grandson Graham will be in the middle; Adam will be in the bow. The only good thing is that I am going to be in the stern, ostensibly steering with my Boy Scout-learned J-Stroke. That means I can dope off so long as we don’t run into any stumps or alligators.

The picture above was probably the last time I was in a canoe on that river. Son Matt, in the bow, looks like he’s about 10ish. That would put Adam a little older than Graham.

If you don’t see a post Sunday morning, you’ll know the reason why. Send the search team out to look for an alligator with a bulge in his belly and a big smile.


7 Replies to “What Are You Doing Saturday?”

  1. Two things.

    (1) WHEN did you ever have those kind of tennis shoes?
    (2) WHAT is in that jar in the canoe?

    I can hardly wait for your answers.

  2. I’ve been meaning to do that trip for a while, without rugrats. But I plan to wait until the humidity level drops and mosquitoes go elsewhere. I did the Indiantown Road-downriver trip a few times at night with Post staffers. A good time was had by all, except for the idiots worried about snakes dropping from the trees onto their heads. -:)))

  3. What am I doing to today?…Well if you must know, I am working on getting all my items for the silent and live auction for the Dunedin Regatta ready for the event tonight. So if anyone wants to help…show up at the Dunedin Country Club and start arranging items for sale!
    The event starts at 6:00 pm and am if you show up with this printed copy in our hand I personally see you get a good seat to bid on items and buy your first drink! So print this out and and get your FREE drink from me.
    (not valid after Sept. 15, 2013, in Montana or children under the age of 3 or in countries not signing the Geneva acts of war crimes or nuclear proliferation treaties.)

  4. that is not just a jar..that is vintage mid 1970’s tupperware. part of a cannister set for flour and sugar etc..LOL i have a few in my basement some place

  5. Ken,

    I’ve been retired for all of two weeks now and haven’t yet heard those dreaded words: “You’re retired. You’re not doing anything.” Maybe someday I’ll learn how to control my reflexes and not jump when somebody asks about my schedule.

    When people would ask me if I had big plans for retirement, I’d tell them I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing. It’s like in the spy business — any information you give out can be used against you.

    A canoe trip wouldn’t be a bad thing, though.


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