Mary Welch Steinhoff Archives

December 24, 2023

Poinsettias on the Graves

When Wife Lila came to Cape recently, she tried to convince me to replace the refrigerator when I remodel my kitchen. She’s a big fan of bottom freezers, and I prefer mine to be at eye level. (Her eyes aren’t that far off the ground, so that’s why she likes the bottom freezer.)

When we went to Lowes to look at ice boxes (using that phrase is a good sign that I’m old), we passed an aisle loaded down with Christmas flowers and cacti. The poinsettias were two for three bucks, so we picked up a couple of them and some cacti for friends and relatives.

Mother had always asked, “Who will decorate the graves after I’m gone?” That sent me back to Lowes to pick up some more flowers.

Sunset more colorful than flowers

After dropping off a pot at my Mother and Dad’s stone, I stopped by Lila’s mother, Lucille Perry. The flowers were colorful, but they couldn’t compare with the sunset in the distance. I wish the camera had captured all the colors my eyes saw.

Roy and Elsie in Advance

Mother’s dad and mother had health problems and lived with us from my early grade school days until after I had left for Ohio University. My life was much enriched by getting to know them.

Here’s a little more about Elsie Welch, as described by her friends.

My great-grandparents

Mother’s grandparents, W.M. Adkins and Mary Adkins died long before I was born, but I still have no trouble spotting their grave in the beautiful Pleasant Hill Cemetery in Tillman, near Advance.

A lot of my grandmother’s friends and relatives are scattered in that cemetery.

I wondered if they got stolen

After I had placed the flowers, I wondered if anyone would spot them and carry them off since they were so portable.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I said to myself, “I don’t care if someone does. I fulfilled my obligation to Mother, and if her flowers brighten another grave, that’s a good thing.”

October 17, 2023October 17, 2023

A Letter to Mother

Birthday Season Exemption

I’m getting a fileserver upgrade, so my computer will be dark for a few days, which would be a problem because Mother’s birthday will fall within that period. Fortunately, I can post this under the Birthday Season Exemption.

My family, for better or worse, is made up of packrats who saved stuff that would be considered inconsequential to most folks. While going through an envelope of greeting, birthday, sympathy and get-well cards, I ran across this snippet of a letter I had written to Mother from Ohio University, probably in 1967.

I’m glad she saved it (and that I found it)

I don’t know what triggered me to write it, but I’m glad I did. I didn’t do that enough to people who are important to me.

Maybe I was trying to recover for letting Mother’s Day slip past me the first year at OU. Trust me, that never happened again.

May 14, 2023

Mother at SEMO 1939 & 1940

A reader was kind enough to drop off a box of old Sagamores a few months ago. I offered to fill in gaps in the collection at the Cape County History Center, but I held back two that had surprising photos in them.

The 1939 issue had photos of Mother as a freshman. It identified her as being from Advance, and being in the Home Economics Club and the YWCA.

Book belonged to Milburn Lavelle Bess

A note in the front of the 1939 book said it belonged to Milburn Lavelle Bess of Cape Girardeau, who was a member of the Band, Orchestra, Pi Mu Omicron and A Cappella.

A number of the pages were autographed by friends who referred to him as Lavelle, instead of Milburn.

I’d be willing to pass the book on the Lavelle or any of his family members.

Albert and Leming Halls

Two of the dorms for women appeared on facing pages. I wasn’t sure if Mother was in either of them.

Mother may have been mistaken

She had two photos in a scrapbook that she labeled as being of Albert Hall, but the yearbook pictures show that Leming is the building with a screened porch.

Even as I consider saying that she was wrong, I’m looking at the sky expecting a bolt of lightning to come down.

She was a sophomore in 1940

She’s still listed as being from Advance, and of being in the Home Economics Club and the YWCA.

Secretary of Home Economics Club

I can’t be sure she’s in the group photo, but the text copy notes that she was secretary of the club.

War Department took notice

Maybe her election to the office of secretary was what caused the War Department to send her this telegram.

When Mother would tell the story, she always said, “I’d rather be married than type.”

Dad and Mother were in a movie theater when the word about the attack on Pearl Harbor broke. When they came out, my grandfather said, “If you kids are going to get married, you’d better do it right away.”

And, they did, exactly one month later, on January 7, 1942.

1940 Aerial photo of SEMO

The front of the 1940 yearbook had a double truck (printing-speak for a two-page layout made up as a single unit) aerial of the area around the college.

It’s amazing how many neighborhood homes have been gobbled up over the intervening years.

Free hospital care

There were interesting little nuggets scattered all though the books. The Medical Staff faculty page showed Dr. O.L. Seabaugh as college physician, and Rose Margaret Dewever, RN, as college nurse.

It said that “beginning with a complete physical examination upon entering school, students are offered competent medical attention through the services of a qualified physician and registered nurse.

“One week’s hospitalization in either of Cape Girardeau’s hospitals and the use of the x-ray are included in advantages offered by the Health Department free to the students on a co-operative basis.”

April 16, 2023April 16, 2023

Chocolate Rabbits Visit the Cemetery

I had to smile while I was waiting in line to check out at Schnuck’s grocery store a couple of days ago. You know Easter has come and gone when the chocolate rabbits hop into the clearance basket.

Mother and Brother Mark would harvest as many of the rabbits they could find when they went on sale. The orphan bunnies shivered in the basement freezer until they were melted down for whatever purpose the pair could come up with.

April rains bring spring flowers

The gentle rains caused the tulips Mother planted decades ago to welcome Spring, but the next round of winds and rains whipped them to shreds before I could decorate Mother and Dad’s tombstone as was my usual custom.

I decided that chocolate bunny rabbits would make a good stand-in. I hurried to the grocery store and found that the cart still had an abundance of the hoppers.

Dad’s birthday was coming up

Chocolate rabbits for LV – Mary Steinhoff 04-15-2023

Dad died in 1977. If we populated his birthday cake on April 17 of this year, the 106 candles would be visible in outer space.

I thought he’d appreciate that I sampled the rabbit before delivering it.

Mother’s rabbit was fancier

I thought Mother deserved a fancier rabbit than Dad.

It’s fun coming up with something a little different to show them they have been remembered.

Unconventional grave decorations

Mother got pine cones in 2019.
A decades-old plastic Easter egg hiding amidst the tulips that she had planted a gazillion years ago showed up in 2016.
In 2015, she got the last rose of summer.
Some railroad spikes, a quarter squashed by a train, and a tiny blue ceramic floor tile from Cairo has showed up over the years.