Crazy Food Cravings

Craving foods 01-23-2014A Facebook friend who goes by the moniker Sherry Senile Camper Swanson posted a photo of a can of Hormel Tamales on her timeline: “For my gourmet dinner friends…here is my post of my lovely lunch of canned tamales…which I LOVE. Be jealous. Hee he.

Wife Lila chimed in, “Ken Steinhoff loves those things. Our grocer here quit carrying them, and I was charged with finding some… NOW! About six weeks later, I found them at another store and bought enough to keep him from going into a fetal position.”

That launched into a long discussion about those foods people keep in the back of their pantries for emergencies (in our case, hurricane supplies) or for the once or twice-a-year cravings. (If you can’t get them locally, here’s an Amazon link for Hormel Beef in Chili Sauce Tamales.)

It was interesting how many Cape Girardeans admitted to tamale urges. It must be a Bootheel thing, one said.

Smoked clams and oysters

Craving foods 01-23-2014

When nothing else hits the craving spot, I’ll reach into the hurricane supplies to pick up a can of smoked baby clams or oysters. I like them scooped up on Ritz Garden Vegetable crackers. I didn’t see the brand we buy listed on Amazon, but I haven’t been able to tell much difference in brands. For as seldom as I eat a can, cheapest is best.

All things being equal, I think I belch smoked clams for a shorter period of time than smoked oysters. Now, THAT’S a food review you don’t see on Friend Jan’s food blog.

Vienna Sausages

Broccoli, Vienna Sausages and KLSI was doing OK with this food talk until Ms. Swanson brought up Vienna sausages. I don’t think I’ve cracked a can of those things in 30 years, but I decided I should pick up a couple cans (they were on sale) when I went to the grocery store this afternoon. When I got home, Wife Lila was getting ready to make greens out of the broccoli leaves from her backyard garden.

She took one look at my cans and said, “You know how you have to leave the room when I drink buttermilk, well, I’m going to have to leave the room if you eat those.”

They DO look nasty

Broccoli, Vienna Sausages and KLSMs. Swanson rhapsodized about her VS experience: “I still have a can that I carried all the way across the US on my bike adventure. I was always afraid I’d end up in some podunk place with nothing to eat. I ate in a lot of gas stations on that trip…and the can of VS made it to the Atlantic Ocean and back here to Missouri.

When I cracked my can, I wish I had carried it unopened from one coast to the other.

Reading the ingredients didn’t make me feel any better: “Sausage: Mechanically separated chicken, water, salt, corn syrup. Contains less than 2% or less of beef, pork, Dextrose, natural flavors, sodium nitrate, garlic powder. Broth: chicken broth.”

Still, I had 50 cents invested in this adventure, so I had to go through with it.

I now know what “bilious” means

Broccoli, Vienna Sausages and KLS

Wife Lila didn’t run screaming from the room after all. She consented to photograph my experiment. She kept saying, “That one didn’t look exactly right. You’d better eat another one while I shoot it from a slightly different angle. Oh, there’s a bad shadow on that one.” [Editor’s note: For the record, Proofreader Lila doesn’t remember the photo shoot that way. I think she is suffering from sausage-induced amnesia.]

I had a horrible, guilty flashback. We had a feature columnist who did lots of what he thought were “funny” stories requiring personal deeds of (not) so daring feats. We photographers resented the space devoted to him that we thought could be better used by serious stories, so we didn’t cut him much slack.

One shoot involved a test of a laundry detergent to see if the stains really would come out after [name removed] had been dragged through a mud puddle by a motorcycle. One of the most reliable photographers on the staff had the darnedest time that afternoon. They light was wrong, the timing was off, his film slipped on the reel… Poor [name removed] and his clothing were certainly muddy after about half a dozen takes, but, to his credit, he didn’t gripe about the misfortunes the photographer had.

I now sympathize with [name removed] and feel a little guilty.

After I finished the seven “sausages” in the can, I looked inside and saw a gelatinous goo left behind that wouldn’t even pour out.

A word floated into my mind; a word that I hadn’t used in so long that I had to look it up to make sure it was the right one. Yep, “bilious” was the right term: “Bilious fever was a medical diagnosis often used for any fever that exhibited the symptom of nausea or vomiting in addition to an increase in internal body temperature and strong diarrhea. “Bilious” means the condition was thought to arise from disorders of bile, the two types of which were two of the Four Humours of traditional Galenic medicine. The term is obsolete and no longer used, but was commonly used by medical practitioners in the 18th and 19th centuries, often cited as a cause on death certificates.

 Topics for future exploration

When I get over my bilious condition, we can explore those other foods of Swampeast Missouri like tongue with horseradish, pickled pig’s feet and brains and eggs.

 

A Volkswagen “Where’s Waldo?”

Hocking County Courthouse 09-30-1970Reader Brad Brune has been bugging me on Facebook to do a story about VWs and VW dealerships in Cape. He didn’t get my message that the best way to handle a special request is to write in on a piece of green paper bearing the photo of a dead president, so I’m going to only honor part of his request.

It just so happened that I had been editing a batch of Ohio pictures and had noticed how many VWs were in the backgrounds.

They were everywhere

Jophn Glenn campaigns for senate in Athens OH 03-26-1970It was hard to find a street scene where there wasn’t a bug, bus or squareback like mine showing up. They were in the background of John Glenn running for the Senate. They were part of and in the middle of protest marches.

Cape had a few VWs, in fact, I saw a roll of a wreck on Perryville Road involving one, but it wasn’t interesting enough to scan. Athens, being a college town and being right at the beginning of the Volkswagen wave was prime territory for bug spotting.

VW photo gallery

Pretend that you’re playing a Volkswagen version of Where’s Waldo? Most of them are obvious, but you might have to squint to find some. You’ll see a couple shots of Wife Lila’s yellow bug (Brother David is washing it), and my red Squareback (the worst lemon I ever owned). Click on any photo to make it larger, then use your arrow keys to navigate through the gallery. Enjoy, Mr. Brune. (P.S. See if you can spot the Atlas Plastics truck from Cape Girardeau in one of the photos.)

Buck Nelson’s Spacecraft Convention

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966I have to disappoint folks who come looking for photos or stories about UFOs in Cape. On the other hand, I got to spend a whole weekend asking people, “And, what kind of clothes do they wear on Mars and Venus?”

It was the summer of 1966, and I went on my first out-of-town assignment – to the Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention in Mountain View, in the Missouri Ozarks. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure it was an actual assignment. I think I just convinced reporters Jerry Obermark and Denny O’Neil that we should jump in my 1959 Buick LaSabre station wagon and light out.

The caption under the photo above read, “Bob Palmer sits at the registration desk at Buck Nelson’s Spacecraft Convention ready to sell visitors copies of  My Trip to Mars, the Moon and Venus by Mr. Nelson, More About Flying Saucers, by John Dean, or post cards depicting – in full color – a flying saucer spinning through the air.”

Cult ponders “space brothers”

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966I’m going to let Jerry tell the story the way he wrote in in the June 28, 1966, Missourian. I may toss in a comment or observation from time to time. The gentleman above who has the look of a biblical prophet is Buck, by the way.

Buck Nelson of Mountain View, an Ozark community, has more in common with the fabled Buck Rogers than his first name. Mr. Nelson claims to have ridden in space ships to other planets, to have visited and talked with “space brothers” and to be one of their contact men on earth.

Mr. Nelson is nearing 70 and has held a space convention on his 40-acre farm, seven miles northwest of Mountain View, in Howell County, each year since 1954, the first year Mr. Nelson was contacted by spacemen. The crowds for the convention have dwindled in recent years.

 This convention was one of the most disappointing.

James L. Hill – space brothers’ contact man

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 A larger attendance was expected, James L. Hill of Seymour said. Mr. Hill said he is a close friend of Mr. Nelson in addition to being the space brothers’ contact man for southwest Missouri.

 Mr. Hill explained that he and Mr. Nelson both formerly lived in California. He said Mr. Nelson was once a police detective in the Los Angeles, Calif., Police Department. Mr. Hill said he retired from the U.S. Army with the rank of major in 1920. He worked in different areas since his retirement and has written a few books.

 His main interest, however, and the reason for his being at Mr. Nelson’s farm last weekend was to talk about flying saucers and the space brothers. Mr. Nelson, himself, said little. But, Mr. Hill was anything but shy.

 Change in appearance

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 Mr. Hill told how Mr. Nelson looked different in appearance after the space brothers visited him in 1954. His face was white and his eyes looked as if he had seen a vision, Mr. Hill said.

 The cult finder’s medical records at the hospital in Texas County show that he formerly had arthritis, Mr. Hill said. After the visit, Mr. Nelson made a marvelous recovery, Mr. Hill said.

 Since that first visit, Mr. Nelson has been contacted many times times by the space brothers. He has been taken to other planets and visited several times at his home, Mr. Hill explained. Mr. Hill said he also has been contacted by space brothers. They visited his home, ate meals with him and communicated by telepathy, he said.

 Both Mr. Hill and Mr. Nelson were sent to Missouri from California by the space brothers several years ago, Mr. Hill said. He said, for lack of a better word, that a feeling or “hunch” came over them that they should move here. Mr. Nelson also had lived in Denver, Colo., prior to moving here, Mr. Hill said.

 Purpose of the visit

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 Main purpose of the space brothers visits here, Mr. Hill claimed, is to relay the message that the scientists here should stop experimenting with hydrogen and atomic bombs.

 When the spacemen first contacted Mr. Nelson, Mr. Hill noted, they said, “You have a mission and you will be told more as we want you to know.” Since that time, Mr. Hill said he has learned much.

 The space visitors that Mr. Hill has seen usually have black beards and are taller than 6 feet. The most recent encounter took place at Mr. Nelson’s house last September, he said.

“Billions of lights” in the sky

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966On three consecutive nights, Mr. Nelson said, he saw what he called “billions of lights.” The lights appeared to be 50 to 100 miles north of the farmhouse and were clearly seen from the road near his house. Mr. Hill said he and Mr. Nelson and Mr. and Mrs. Adolph Henn of Willow Springs saw the lights. Mr. and Mrs. Henn told the same story, but they thought it happened in April. The lights were stationary, Mr. Henn said, and they appeared to be about the same size as a fluorescent street light. But there is no highway or town in the area where they appeared, he noted.

[Editor’s note: there’s another twist to this story that I’ll save for the end. Hang in there.]

 On one of the nights, after Mr. Hill and Mr. Nelson had returned from watching the lights, three “spacemen” walked out of the founder’s yard. One of the men took a gun from his pocket which shot a beam of light “brighter than sunlight.” The ray disintegrated one of Mr. Nelson’s sickly cats, Mr. Hill said.

 The visitors from space were all wearing uniforms similar to denim overalls and had black beards. They didn’t say anything when Mr. Nelson spoke to them, first in English, then in Indian sign language. Mr. Hill said he tried to communicate with them by telepathy, but they just walked away.

Space Brothers highly developed

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 At other times, Mr. Hill said he learned that the space brothers are a much higher developed culture than earthlings. He said they travel at fantastic speeds in any of several types of spaceships. They have no need for anything on earth, he said. The only reason they want to keep scientists from “fooling” with atomic and nuclear power because it could destroy the universe, he said.

 Several of the spacemen live on earth. Hundreds of thousands of them work as scientists and in Washington, D.C., Mr. Hill said. The United States space program has been infiltrated by them, he added. They normally will not interfere with experiments by the government here, but it things get too dangerous, they will interfere, he said.

Reproduce by thought waves

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 The spacemen live on several of the known and unknown planets, he explained. Many of them live for thousands of years. They can reproduce by thought waves or physically, Mr. Hill said.

 He said some of their favorite foods when they visited him in California were “peanut butter sandwiches, milk and coffee, but not too much coffee.”

 There were religious overtones in most of the speeches and private conversations on spacemen at the convention. Mr. Hill said Jesus Christ was taken up on a spaceship after his death on the Cross. He said that Jesus is the first born son of God and that he now travels on the other planets and talks to the leaders there.

 Two Projects

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966About four years ago, the space brothers told Mr. Hill and Mr. Nelson of two projects for which they were to be the contact men.

 One of the projects was for the building of a spaceship at the cost of $25 million. The other was a plan to make water available to anyone in the U.S.A free without the use of pipes by simply telephoning Mr. Nelson or Mr. Hill. The water project would cost the government $1.5 billion, Mr. Hill said.

 Mr. Hill said he drew up two bills and submitted them to Sen. Edward V. Long of Missouri, but they were not introduced in Congress. Mr. Hill said he could not include any of the secrets as to how the water would be supplied or the spaceship would be built. The bill simply asked for government money to build the center to be headed by Mr. Nelson and Mr. Hill. The space brothers were going to assist the men in both projects. He said he could not give details because he would be breaking a trust with the spacemen.

 When Mr. Hill was asked why the projects would cost so much, he said the figures were beyond his understanding, but they had been recommended by the space brothers. He said they would need to build a “nice space center” at Mr. Nelson’s farm. Eventually, the spaceship was to be for the use of everyone in the United States, he said. They would also need to buy some cars and trucks, he added. But the bulk of the expense was unaccounted for. Apparently the space brothers needed exotic metals and expensive equipment for the projects.

 Other bizarre tales

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 If some of Mr. Hill’s stories seemed strange, it should be added that equally bizarre tales were related by John W. Dean of Hutchinson, Kan.

 Mr. Dean said that the U.S. government has captured a few spacecraft and is keeping the public from knowing about them.

 The Kansan explained slide which depict several types of spaceships. He said the ships drew their power from the air by the magnetic pole and they had condensers.

 “I guarantee that what I am telling you is as true as we know how to get it. And it’s the thing that will save this country from destruction, if we will adopt what they are offering us. It’s all printed in the UFO magazine,” Mr. Dean said.

 Carnival atmosphere

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 The convention itself was similar to other conventions in only a few respects. There was a carnival atmosphere to some extent. Music from concessions and rides could be heard in the background. Several persons made speeches. Delegates from several states came to the convention to learn about the experiences of others and to relate their own. Persons who had read the advertisement also attended.

[Editor’s note: I learned at least two valuable lessons on my first away trip: (1) it’s possible to get a good night’s sleep in a $2-a-night boarding house with the facilities down the hall, and (2) never bet on a sure thing. On the way out of town, I cashed my paycheck, all $50 of it, so I was flush. Looking for a break from conversations about Martians, I wandered over to a carnie joint where I got suckered into a game where you couldn’t lose. The guy with his cigarette pack rolled up in his T-shirt sleeve spotted me an unbelievable number of points toward a goal with a big payoff. Since you accumulated points every round, there was no way to lose (as long as you had an infinite amount of money to keep playing). Just like the train will never get to its destination if it keeps going half-way, it soon became apparent that I was NEVER going to get to the magic number of points. I figured it was the cheapest and most valuable lesson I ever got for $20. Years later, I would find a book, Eying the Flash – The Education of a Carnival Con Artist – that explained how the scam worked.]

Benches for audience

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 A weather-worn building on Mr. Nelson’s farm served as headquarters for some visitors. Six rows of benches accommodated listeners. Microphones were set up on the platform and sandwiches and refreshments were available.

 The rides and concessions were an added attraction this year, but were not to distract from the business of the convention – to educate the people about the spacemen, Mr. Hill said. Other conventions are held annually at several locations, Mr. Hill added. One is scheduled for Giant Rock, Calif. About 10,000 persons are expected to attend, he said.

“Spaceships Welcome”

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966 Signs reading, “Spaceships Welcome” were posted around the convention area and were available to anyone who wanted one for his car.

 The convention closed Monday. The people of Mountain View will talk about the event for only a short time. Few townspeople were curious enough to attend.

 Nevertheless, most of those who commented on Buck Nelson’s space convention did not indicate skepticism in Mr. Nelson or even disbelief in this stories.

 One woman said she couldn’t see why the government was spending so much money to go to the moon when they could “just come out and ask Buck.”

Here’s Jerry at work

Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 06-28-1966I’m not sure how Denny and Jerry figured out who was going to write the story. I give Jerry credit for writing it right down the middle. He reported it straight without poking fun at anyone, although I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a story with so many attributions and “he saids.” We could only stand about two hours at a stretch before we’d pile in the car to drive away to decompress. Jerry is the guy on the right trying to keep a straight face.

The crazy kicker

Ken Steinhoff 1959 Builck LaSabre station wagon at Buck Nelson Flying Saucer Convention 74I promised you a twist to the “billions lights” story. Well, in addition to the lights, Buck told the tale about going out of town one weekend and coming back to find a tree that had been in his yard gone without a trace. “The space brothers must have wanted to take that tree to study. They probably levitated it right away without leaving so much as a leaf or piece of bark behind.”

When we started to head back to Cape, I noticed that I had picked up a nail in a tire, resulting in a slow leak. We stopped at the first service station in Mountain View where the kid who fixed my flat was curious about what we strangers were doing in town.

“We’re covering Buck Nelson’s Flying Saucer Convention,” I explained.

“That old Buck,” the kid said, “We have a bundle of fun with him. Every once in awhile we’ll go out there with a bunch of rockets and shoot them off over this house. The best prank we played was one weekend when he was out of town. Me and a bunch of my buddies cut down this tree in his front yard and made off with every speck of it. We didn’t leave a single scrap of sawdust behind…..”

The Sorry-There-Aren’t-Any-UFOs Photo Gallery

Here are a batch of photos from the weekend. I have a pdf copy of Buck’s book, My Trip to Mars, the Moon and Venus, but it’s about 10 megs, bigger than the blog software will allow me to upload. If anyone wants to read it, drop me an email and we’ll work out something. I don’t see any copyright notes on it and Buck, I’m sure, has gone wherever the space brothers wanted to take him by now. Click on any photo to make it larger, then use your arrow keys to step through the gallery.

Three Rivers Petroglyph Site

It all depends on when you did it

  • Three Rivers Petroglyph Site 06-24-09If it was on the side of a building in your neighborhood, it would be called “tagging” and you’d be annoyed.
  • If it was high up on the side of a water tower, it would be called graffiti and you would lament the stupidity of kids.
  • If it was scratched on a rock over 600 years ago, it is called a “petroglyph,” and there’s a whole site dedicated to to the art near Tularosa, N.M.

The Three Rivers Petroglyph Site

Three Rivers Petroglyph Site 06-24-09The Bureau of Land Management’s website says that the Three Rivers Petroglyph Site is one of the few locations in the Southwest set aside solely because of its rock art. It is also one of the few sites giving visitors such direct access to petroglyphs. The number and concentration of petroglyphs here make it one of the largest and most interesting petroglyphs sites in the Southwest. More than 21,000 glyphs of birds, humans, animals, fish, insects and plants, as well as numerous geometric and abstract designs are scattered over 50 acres of New Mexico’s northern Chihuahuan Desert. The petroglyphs at Three Rivers, dating back to between about 900 and 1400 AD, were created by Jornada Mogollon people who used stone tools to remove the dark patina on the exterior of the rock. A small pueblo ruin is nearby and Sierra Blanca towers above to the east.

Why vacation photos all of a sudden?

I had a hard drive crash. I didn’t lose any data because of the way the system is designed, but I didn’t want to dip into my Cape photos until the “mirror” as it is called is completely rebuilt. (Hint: that’s why I keep bugging you to click on the big CLICK HERE button when you shop on Amazon. A few pennies here and there keep those hard drives spinning.)

Photo gallery of the art

Click on any photo to make it larger, then use your arrow keys to mover through the gallery. These photos were taken in June 2009, when we went back to the Southwest where Wife Lila grew up before moving to Cape.